I didn’t have to see her dead body.
I think the problem is that it’s not always bad. If it were bad every day, it would be so much easier. When she died I didn’t see the body and the family was ashamed of that– but I knew that I would be dealing with it for the rest of my life, so why did I need to see the actual body?
It seemed that compared to what I would later be experiencing, the body would be nothing. I wish my family understood this but I don’t know if they do or not.
Am I okay? Did I need to see the body? I had friends who said that you had to see a dead body in order to grief– that that is where the grieving starts, with what’s dead. I don’t think it was necessary for that.