How many wasted lives and how much wasted time.
I think it’s the inability for her to let go. The last time I was there, and all the times I’ve been there, I’ve realised how much of her power is about control. And I am able to recognise this because I don’t want to control anyone, and so it makes it easier to recognise for me.
And I realised that because of this conditioning, I was constantly showing up and expected to be treated badly, or worse, when I showed up to something it was as if all I could get from it was disappointment. I would show up for something, trying to do my best, but it was as if there would be a predestined outcome, and that would be exactly what would happen, almost exactly as predicted.