I read about two instincts yesterday, also called Thanatos (brings the Marvel films into mind), its opposite is eros.
Eros is like an energy that can’t be stopped, but it will always have the pull of Thanatos. There has been a lot of Thanatos in my life recently.– I don’t know exactly why, but a lot of the things that used to bring me pleasure has ceased to do so.
I seem to be unsure as to what brings me joy anymore.